I MADE IT LOOK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL PRETTY
And also it’ll be where I post anything sw related
OMG I JUST SPENT AGE REDESIGNING MY CAMGIRL BLOG AND OMG IT’S PRETTY AND IT’S GOT LITTLE CURSOR ANIMATIONS AND POLKA DOTS I’M JUST SO IMPRESSED
Everything feels really overwhelming. Being sick these last few days along with everything else has put me into this dark place that is impossible to get out of.
6 weeks ago I started online uni. I loved my courses, I loved the type of work, I loved the idea of staying in bed writing notes about film. And somehow I managed to fuck it up right from the start by being depressed, unmotivated and useless. I’m 5 weeks behind in work with an assignment due in 6 days.
I am nearly $400 behind on my electricity bill, I haven’t been able to grocery shop in at least 6months and the little food I do have is constantly being ruined by cockroaches I can’t do anything about. There are holes in the walls and the floors which makes living very hard now it’s winter. I am ashamed and embarrassed to have people over, but if I’m alone I just cry because I don’t know how to fix anything. I make plans and never follow through because i am either too scared, embarrassed or panicked.
I can’t find a job especially now as my resume got wiped from my hard drive. My webcam broke, and once it was up and running again I lost most of the quality so I can’t continue with my camming work until I magically am able to buy one.
I get $20 to myself every fortnight… which usually goes on food or household items like toilet paper and bug spray.
I hate posting stuff like this on tumblr but I really don’t know what to do any more and it just seems like my problems are so basic who the fuck would care. I don’t know how to handle so many things going wrong at once… I dont know how to be alone any more… it feels like I’ve lost all the good parts of myself and I’m left with the shit